Categories: life

Am at a point where I donno whats gonna happen next, life has become unpredictable and increasingly tough especially for a young nigga out here. Am at a point where I don’t trust anyone with my secrets, I constantly remain silent am too careful of the things I say coz you never know who you can trust with your stuff. People out here fake and they don’t even know it, they think they’re real but the first opportunity they get they stab you in the back. I mean people out here will betray you for petty things that will fed away as the sun continues to shine brighter. I would rather drown myself with my shit than share anything with anyone. I mean what’s the price of betrayal? Maybe then I’ll know it was worth it.

I feel stupid when someone betrays me for pussy and money or both. I mean was our friendship worth nothing for you not to even think twice before betraying me for a sponsor with a belly so big u could mistake for  pregnancy? Was it really that worthless? But if money means that much to you that u would sleep with your friend’s father then you then you two deserve one another. I thought you were real, I thought we were real but I guess birds of a feather flock together, right. Maybe I judge too much but can you really blame me? I wish you knew the how the pain of betrayal is too heavy to bear then you would understand why I can’t trust anyone anymore. I mean I valued everyone I had but now it seems as thou everyone wants something. Should I blame them or me? Do I trust too much? We live in a money whipped society.

Everyone wants money but they don’t care about who they have to step on to get it. I guess it was my fault for believing I could ever expect much from a society that advocates for selfishness. I blame myself for waking up the last. So as the days go by I find it difficult to connect anymore, I feel like any piece of information I give is too real for any chicka out there to have. The day I see a young chicka turning down millions for a simple life is the day I’ll start sharing again. Nowadays I feel as if we should just be straight with one another and just shag with no feelings attached but with protection coz I don’t trust your history. I wanna protect myself from feeling your warmth coz I just don’t know if my feelings will erupt. Don’t get me wrong I wanna know you, I wanna trust u, I’ll even be loyal till the end for sure but you tell me before we all do this, is it gonna be worth it? I know life makes us make the toughest choices but if you’re loyal would you betray me? See I don’t believe in love no more. If u loved me you would want the best for me and betray me that has never made any sense to me, shouldn’t it be the opposite? I would rather stay alone than have something that’s fake, something that you’re not 101% in, I mean that additional percent is assurance that you got my back no matter what coz I got yours.

Let’s imagine this scenario for a while but let’s shift into the future for a while, a future in which we’re no longer young dumb and broke anymore. You played me with a rich old potbellied nigga and I forgave you, u really think I wouldn’t play you with someone younger? Your excuse then was that u needed the money, my excuse is that I hurt too much that you let an old nigga hit, to me its personal, its revenge. You will be old and washed up and nobody will want you not even the old nigga you let hit. I kept silent as you took advantage of my trust and loyalty but now’s my turn, do you really think I would even think twice if the opportunity presented itself? If this is the type of society we live in we’ll all be broken and who will come to rescue us? Would there be any space for love if revenge filled our hearts? Would we still smile in public? I know I wouldn’t and if I did it would be fake.

All I see everywhere I look is people’s faces filled with smiles and laughter, but are the smiles real? Would you betray one another for a price? If they would then I think they should start paying you for being their friend right? Should have I can’t seem to take life as I did anymore, I wish we would go back to the simpler times where money and betrayal didn’t fill our minds and hearts.Those times were the best, we all cared for each other. Those were the times  we greeted anybody we walked past on the road. Those were the good times when social media did not take over our lives. nowadays we care more about the likes we get on social media than our neighbour who is suffering. We  all want the lives of celebrities but what do we really know about them? Do they love their lives? Why don’t they ever try and use the influence they have to bring hope to the world? Why do they fill our minds and hearts with hunger for money? Who is more worth it, our neighbour whom we see suffering everyday and we don’t do anything about it or the celebrity who shows us everything money can buy but deep down he’s empty and lonely? We all need to open our eyes and stop following these people blindly and we should love whatever we have no matter how small it is. I wish we could all put our phones down for a second and focus on the person next to us.